instrumental decathlon – the trombone

I was talking with my friend Una from Detroit and we were discussing the OSO’s recent bass trombone auditions to replace our retiring bass trombone player Alan Pierce. The person who was selected (and I can’t name them until they are officially offered employment) had a resume full of impressive wins in various trombone competitions.

This led us to think of what might take place at a bass trombone competition, more specifically, in the decathlon! I have been inspired to make up a decathlon competition for every orchestral instrument.

You can help – send suggestions for events to me via the “contact” tab at the top of the blog.

Bass Trombone/Tenor Trombone Decathlon Events

1. Pedal tone: how loud – ear protection optional
2. Pedal tone: how long – “iron lung” competition
3. Pedal tone: how low can you go – in search of the infamous “brown” note
4. Lung capacity meter blow-off – winner hits “red hot lover” on scale
5. Belch the alphabet – prelims Roman characters, semi-finals Greek, finals Japanese ‘Katakana’
   
6. Fart lighting – intensity, distance and duration
7. Who can eat the most disgusting food item
8. Beer drinking – 1/2 keg minimum
9. Pickup line competition – most slaps wins
10. Small, evil Trumpeter tossing – extra points for serious injury