Whenever we do a major, difficult work, even if it’s core repertoire, I’m surprised by my own individual performance and how it changes night to night. I don’t know why I’m surprised – it seems to follow the same pattern every time – it’s like catching a cold every year: the buildup is always the same, and you never realize you’re coming down with the bug until it’s upon you.
Saturday
Saturday night is nervous night. I’m never sure if the rough patches that I’ve been struggling with will come off, and if I’ll be a good, supportive stand partner to our excellent principal, Joël Belgique. Every sense is on edge, and there is often a bit of pulling of punches, so to speak, and second-guessing. Usually I do ok on the first night – it doesn’t feel great, but usually the job gets done and I can go home without a bag over my head. Generally speaking, the whole orchestra is in the same boat for the opening night.
Sunday
Sundays I always think that it’s going to be much easier, and I can just play, and everything will be gravy. Yeah, right! I’ve gone over the rough spots again, warmed up thoroughly (always a bigger project on Sundays since we haven’t had a morning rehearsal that day) and am feeling good. Then the concert comes, I’m loose and ready to go, the bow goes to the string, and I cannot play my instrument. Literally – anything above a mezzo-forte turns into horrible crunching, I’m mis-reading whole lines of triple-stops, and life just sucks really, really bad. I should learn to bring my paper sack with me on Sunday nights – if I don’t feel like putting it over my head, I can at least fill it with what’s left of my dignity and self-respect and skulk on home. It’s too bad, since it’s often the night that the orchestra sounds its best.
Monday
Monday nights are often the best for me, but often not so for the entire orchestra. People are getting tired, most often we’ve started rehearsing some other program that same morning, and some of the focus is gone. A bit of squirreliness and mannered playing can begin to creep its way in, too. It’s strange, because I find that for me, it’s often my best night since it combines the focus of Saturday night with the looseness of Sunday night.
It’s frustrating on so many levels, because I cannot seemingly practice enough hours to make the focus problem go away (though I could get more sleep and exercise – hm…) and that when I sound my best the orchestra sounds at its worst, and vice versa. At least I’m not a solo wind player, I would last about 10 minutes in that hell hole of Prozac and stomach acid!
One reply on “orchestral theory of relativity”
Yes, exactly! Sunday is the “second show slump” for me, and yet, like you say, the orchestra as a whole is often even better than Saturday. And that Holy Grail we search for, finding the balance between adequately rested and warmed-up and prepared, with a cushion and a margin of error –that’s the trick! You will let me know if you find the secret for that, won’t you?Â