Over my 16 years as a full-time member of a professional orchestra (and 8 years before that playing as a free-lance musician), I’ve had time both to observe others and myself engaging in both professional and unprofessional behavior. Sometimes one gets bored, or angry, or just loses it, and things happen. Here’s a guide for the young musician on how best to deport themselves in any professional setting (and it helps in non-professional settings, too). Remember, everyone is watching, the music world is incredibly small and incestuous, and you never know when that person you’re making fun of might have the chance to hire you for a really good gig someday!